The Final Fantasy X2 Carols
by Escachick357
Summary: There were lots of songs in Final Fantasy X2, but still lots that were left out. Here are the ones that never made it in the game. These are parodies of Christmas Carols. Seymour bashing. Enjoy! Now accepting song requests.
1. Seymour the Guado

The Final Fantasy X-2 Carols  
By: Escachick357  
Disclaimer- I don't own Final Fantasy X-2

**Warning:** Major Seymour bashing.

A/N: Okay, before I start this group of parodies I just want to explain a tiny little bit about them. They are all Christmas carols that I just messed around with. Some songs will be bashing Seymour because I don't like him and some songs will be sung by certain characters. However, if a song is sung by a certain character(s) I will say if it is. If you have a request for a Christmas song I can mess around with and have a certain character sing or have the song be about a character, just put your request in an e-mail or a review and I will try to make your idea work. These songs are mainly going to be dealing with Final Fantasy X-2 so although the first song has to deal with something that happened in X, it was mentioned again in X-2 and Seymour was also in X-2 so it should work. Okay, here's the first one. Hope ya like it.

Seymour the Guado  
(in tune of "Frosty the Snowman")

Seymour the Guado  
Is a real disturbing man.  
With his long blue hair and his open shirt  
And a voice that sounds real gay.

Seymour the Guado  
Is a great maester they say.  
He studied Yevon  
But the heroes know  
Just how "evil" he could be.

He must have had a scary past  
That made him what he is.  
For when he met the summoner,  
He acted a lot more gay.

Oh, Seymour the Guado  
Was as gay as he could be  
And the heroes say he would laugh and speak  
Exactly like a pansy.

Thumpety thump thump, thumpety thump thump,  
Look away from him.  
Thumpety thump thump, thumpety thump thump  
Or you'll be traumatized.

Seymour the Guado  
Knew the air was warm that day.  
So he asked Yuna  
"Won't you marry me  
So we'll stop this stupid war."

Down to Home's village,  
With his people by his side  
Bouncing here and there,  
All around the place sighing  
"Destroy the Al Bhed."

He led them down the streets of Home,  
Right to the town's leader;  
And only paused a moment when  
He heard Cid wasn't gay.

Oh, Seymour the Guado  
Had to hurry on his way.  
But he waved good bye saying  
"Don't worry, I'll be back when my nails dry."


	2. I'll Be Home For Christmas

Warning: Tidus and Yuna song

A/N: My sister, Blitzballgirl requested that I do this, so here it is girl.

I'll Be Home For Christmas  
Sung by Tidus

I'll be home for Christmas  
You can count on me.  
Please have lots of mistletoe  
And spheres waiting for me.

All the fayth will find me.  
Where the moonlight gleams.  
I'll be home for Christmas  
If only in my dreams.

I'll be home for Christmas  
You can count on me.  
Please wait for me, my Yuna  
When I return to you.

I will finally come back  
When the moonlight gleams.  
I'll be home for Christmas  
If only in my dreams.


	3. The Gullwings Song

A/N: Okay, before I start this song I should probably explain it. This is a parody of a Christmas song sung by _Alvin and the Chipmunks_. There is going to be a conversation in it between Brother and each of the Gullwing girls and an action going on, so in order for you to understand who's talking and the action, here is the list of what's going on:

Brother- blah blah

Paine- _blah blah_

Yuna- **blah blah**

Rikku- **_blah blah_**

Actual song- blah blah

Action- #blah blah#

If you guys are thinking like I am, you're probably thinking "What the hell was she thinking doing something like this?" but it seemed like something fun to do, so what the heck.

The Gullwing Song  
(in tune of "The Chipmunk Song")  
Sung by Brother and the Gullwings

All right, Gullwings. You ready to sing your song?

_I guess_

**Yeah!**

_**Let's sing it!**_

Okay, Paine?

_Whatever_

Okay, Yuna?

**Okay!**

Okay, Rikku? Rikku? RIKKU!

_**Okay!**_

Christmas, Christmas time is near  
Time for fun and time for cheer.  
We've been good, but we can't last.  
Come on, Christmas. Hurry fast.  
Want a ship that flies real quick  
Me, I want a new Dressphere.  
We can hardly stand the wait,  
Come on, Christmas. Don't be late.

Okay, Gullwings. Get ready.  
That was good, Paine.

_Whatever._

Very good, Yuna.

**Thank you, Brother.**

Oui fana y meddma vmyd Rikku. Fydlr ed!  
Yr Rikku? Rikku? RIKKU?!

_**Ugyo!**_

Want a ship that goes real fast.  
I still want a new Dressphere!  
We can hardly stand the wait,  
Please Christmas, don't be late.  
We can hardly stand the wait,  
Please Christmas, don't be late.

Very good, girls!

_**Let's sing it again! Come on, let's sing it again!**_

No, that's enough. I don't want you to overdo it.

**What do you mean, overdo it?**

_So, we don't have to sing it again?_

Hey, wait a minute, Gullwings…

_**Why can't we sing it again?!**_

#A bunch of mixed arguing between the girls fills the room#

Rikku, ghulg ed uvv!...Yuna, just a minute.  
Paine, will you cut it out? Gullwings…

---------------

A/N: here are the Al Bhed translations:

Oui fana y meddma vmyd Rikku. Fydlr ed! -You were a little flat, Rikku. Watch it!

Yr Rikku? Rikku? RIKKU?! – Ah, Rikku? Rikku? RIKKU?!

Ugyo! – Okay!

Rikku, ghulg ed uvv – Rikku, knock it off


	4. Santa Looks a Lot Like Daddy

A/N: Okay, in order for this to work, you're going to have to imagine Vidina (for those that might not know who Vidina is, he's Wakka and Lulu's child) about two or three years after X-2.

Santa Looked a Lot Like Daddy  
sung by Vidina

Santa looked a lot like Daddy  
Or Daddy looked like him.  
It's not the way I pictured,  
Santa was way too thin.  
He didn't come down the chimney,  
So Mommy must have let him in.  
Santa looked a lot like Daddy  
Or Daddy looked a lot like him.

Well, they thought I was fast asleep,  
They thought that I was tucked in bed.  
They never thought I was peeking,  
Or that I'd hear what they said.  
Santa put his arm around Mommy  
And mommy put her arm around him.  
So if Santa Claus ain't Daddy,  
I'm gonna tell on them.

Santa looked a lot like Daddy  
Or Daddy looked a lot like him.  
It's not the way I had him pictured,  
Santa was way too thin.  
He didn't come down the chimney,  
So Mommy must have let him in.

Santa looked a lot like Daddy  
Or Daddy looked a lot like him.  
I never saw Dancer or Prancer.  
I never heard the sleigh bells ring.  
An' I never saw the Red nosed reindeer  
Like they show on the movie spheres.  
But he sure brought lots of presants,  
So he must have been Santa Claus.  
And Santa looked a lot like Daddy  
Or Daddy looked a lot like him.

Santa looked a lot like Daddy  
Or Daddy looked a lot like him.  
It's not the way I had him pictured,  
Santa was way too thin.  
He didn't come down the chimney,  
So Mommy must have let him in.  
Santa looked a lot like Daddy  
Or Daddy looked a lot like him.


	5. Sanno Lrnecdsyc

Sanno Lrnecdsyc  
(in tune of "Feliz Navidad")  
sung by the Al Bhed people on Bikanel

Sanno Lrnecdsyc  
Sanno Lrnecdsyc  
Sanno Lrnecdsyc  
Bnucbanuic Haf Oayn yht Rybbehacc.

Sanno Lrnecdsyc  
Sanno Lrnecdsyc  
Sanno Lrnecdsyc  
Bnucbanuic Haf Oayn yht Rybbehacc.

I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas  
I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas  
I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas  
From the bottom of my heart.

Sanno Lrnecdsyc  
Sanno Lrnecdsyc  
Sanno Lrnecdsyc  
Bnucbanuic Haf Oayn yht Rybbehacc.

Sanno Lrnecdsyc  
Sanno Lrnecdsyc  
Sanno Lrnecdsyc  
Bnucbanuic Haf Oayn yht Rybbehacc.

I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas  
I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas  
I wanna wish you a Merry Christmas  
From the bottom of my heart.

A/N: Okay, so this was only_ Feliz Navidad_ translated to English and then to Al Bhed. The weirdest thing is that if you sing it the right way, it actually fits. Here's the English translation:

_Sanno Lrnecdsyc_- Merry Christmas

_Bnucbanuic Haf Oayn yht Rybbehacc_- Prosperous New Year and Happiness


	6. Vegnagun's song

Vegnagun's song  
(in tune of "The Grinch's Song")

You're a mean one, Vegnagun  
You really are a jerk.  
You're as cuddly as a cactuar,  
You're as charming as a sinspawn, Vegnagun.  
You're a bad banana with a greasy black peel!

You're a monster, Vegnagun  
Your heart's an empty hole.  
Your brain is full of Creepers,  
You have garlic in your soul, Vegnagun.  
I wouldn't touch you with a thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole.

You're a foul one, Vegnagun  
You have Vespas in your smile.  
You have all the tender sweetness of a sickly Angra Mainyu, Vegnagun.  
Given the choice between the two of you, I'd take the sickly Angra Mainyu.

You're a rotter, Vegnagun.  
You're the king of Spira's sins.  
Your heart's a gross Malboro that has just been put on Haste, Vegnagun.  
You're a three layer brussel sprout and toadstool sandwich with arsenic sauce.

You nauseate me, Vegnagun.  
With a nauseous super "naus"!  
You're a crooked dirty machina with a really creepy look, Vegnagun.  
Your soul is an appalling dump heap overflowing with the most disgraceful  
Assortment of garbage imaginable mangled up in tangled up knots.

You're a foul one, Vegnagun.  
You're a nasty, nasty skunk.  
Your heart is full of unwashed socks  
Your soul is full of gunk, Vegnagun.  
The three words that describe you best are as followed, and I quote,  
"Stink, stank, stunk!"


	7. Wakka Got Run Over By an Aeon

A/N: this song was made by request of cashisking17. I personally have no problems with Wakka, so I'm trying not to make this a Wakka-bashing song even though it may sound like it is.

Wakka Got Run Over By An Aeon  
(in tune of "Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer")  
sung by Yuna

Wakka got run over by an aeon  
Walking home from the beach Christmas Eve.  
You can say there's no more living summons,  
But as for us sphere hunters, we believe.

He'd been drinking too much eggnog  
And we begged him not to go.  
He forgot his medication  
And he stumbled down the path onto the ground.

When they found him Christmas morning  
At the scene of the attack,  
There were footprints on his forehead  
And incriminating claw marks on his back.

Wakka got run over by an aeon  
Walking home from the beach Christmas Eve.  
You can say there's no more living summons,  
But as for us sphere hunters, we believe.

Now we're all so proud of Lulu,  
She's been taking this so well.  
See her at home casting magic,  
Then stopping and playing games with Vidina.

It's not Christmas without Wakka  
All the guests are dressed in black.  
And we just can't help but wonder:  
Should we open up his gifts or send them back?

Wakka got run over by an aeon  
Walking home from the beach Christmas Eve.  
You can say there's no more living summons,  
But as for us sphere hunters, we believe.

Now the goose is on the table  
And the pudding's nice and thick.  
And the brown and orange candle  
That would just have matched the hair on Wakka's head.

I've warned all my friends and neighbors,  
"Better watch out for yourselves!"  
Just because the world is safe,  
It doesn't mean that every aeon is gone.

Wakka got run over by an aeon  
Walking home from the beach Christmas Eve.  
You can say there's no more living summons,  
But as for us sphere hunters, we believe.

A/N: I want to thank those who gave requests and suggestions. I'm only doing these parodies until December 25. After Christmas, I'm taking a break from making Christmas carol parodies.


	8. Have Yourself

Have Yourself a Kick-Ass Little Christmas  
(in tune of "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas")  
sung by the Crimson Squad (aka: Paine, Baralai, Gippal, and Nooj)

Have yourself a very kick-ass Christmas.  
Let your heart be light.  
From now on, our troubles  
Will be out of sight.

Have yourself a very kick-ass Christmas.  
Make the time happy.  
From now on, our troubles  
Will be miles away.

Here were are just like the old days,  
Those wonderful days were fun.  
Faithful friends who are dear to us,  
Gather together once more.

Through the years we four will be together.  
If the fayth allows.  
Hang a shining star  
On the highest bough.  
And have yourself  
A kick-ass little Christmas now.

A/N: Well, that's the end of my Final Fantasy X-2 Christmas Carols. Thank you everyone who has read and reviewed this story. Merry Christmas everyone and happy new year.


	9. My Favorite Things

A/N: It's December 2007. Time to make more songs. The first one I chose to do popped into my head when I heard this song on the Christmas station. This is a song from _The_ _Sound of Music_, which is not a Christmas movie. Eh, whatever. I wanted to be a little ooc with Paine because the girl has got to love _something_.

My Favorite Things  
Sung by Paine

Raindrops on roses  
And whiskers on kittens.  
Bright eyes of moogles  
And nice leather armor.  
Brown paper packages  
Bounded in strings.  
These are a few of my favorite things.

Golden chocobos  
And crisp apple strudel.  
Commspheres and Dresspheres  
And ramen with soy sauce.  
Airships that fly with the moon on their wings.  
These are a few of my favorite things.

Girls in cute outfits  
All made by their Dresspheres.  
Snowflakes that stay on my lips and eyelashes.  
Silver white winters that melt into springs  
These are a few of my favorite things.

When the wolves bite,  
When the bees sting,  
When I'm feeling mad.  
I simply remember my favorite things  
And then I don't feel so bad.


End file.
